A lot of people who are morbidly obese look for the Magic Bullet that will make them lose all the weight without any effort on their own part.
They want a doctor or dietician to Wave a Magic Wand and all of that weight will just evaporate leaving them with the body of Brad Pitt or Scarlett Johansson.
If only it were that easy.
An entire industry of television shows has now sprung up to cater for this demand. People want to watch the obese person come to a clinic, get an operation and walk out a new man or woman.
One example of these shows is Weight Loss Ward. This is a TV show that goes inside the Weight Loss Ward at the Sunderland Royal Hospital. This ward is at the heart of one of the most overweight parts of the country. There are over 600 weight loss operations performed there in any given year.
Now while these TV shows are very entertaining and great fun for the sadistic viewers who watch these fat people being rolled up and down the hospital corridors on trolleys and scoffing chicken suppers and cream buns, they are not all that great for the subjects.
What these people really need is a Bare Bones Weight Loss Solution like the one that we offer here at the Ratchet Diet Clinic.
Under the stern management of Hans Ratzenburger and the harsh disciplinary regime of Freda Furtwangler, we would have the kilos falling off these people without a surgeon or scalpel in sight.
The Ratchet Diet Clinic uses “Old School” techniques that go to the heart of how the human motivation system really works. We use a combination of the carrot and the stick.
The approach for dealing with a chronically obese subject like the one in these videos would be to monitor him 24 hours a day with CCTV to catch him in the act of sneaking unauthorised food.
At the first hint of unauthorised eating, we would strap the patient down to a gurney and apply a series of non-lethal electric shocks to his extremities. The timing of this punishment is crucial and has to be done within minutes of the crime so that our obese patient associates unhealthy food with excruciating pain.
Freda Furtwangler is also constantly on the prowl through the wards, her trusty riding crop in hand looking for any opportunity to thrash a deviating dieter across their bare buttocks. People soon learn to fear Freda and her riding crop because she hates fat people and has been known to go into an unstoppable frenzy while thrashing patients and has to be physically pulled off them and sedated by our other staff. That is an example of how passionately we approach our mission to force our inmates to lose weight.
But its not all about the using the stick to motivate the dieters. Any major achievement such as reaching a new Personal Best Weight is greeted with celebration and reward. The Ratchet Diet Clinic has a business relationship with a local massage parlour and can arrange for one or more high-class hookers to visit the clinic and reward our high achievers with various personal services. This has proven to be one of the more popular features of our regime. This form of reward has the advantage that it does not involve the consumption of any calories. What we do not want to do is to celebrate weight loss by eating more food or consuming fattening alcoholic beverages.
So lets get back to the Weight Loss Ward TV Program. You will observe when you watch these videos that its all about the dieters wanting some third party to “do something to them” to make them lose weight. That has never worked and never will in the future. All they really need to do is to stop eating the wrong food and too much of it.
But don’t just listen to what I have to say. Watch the following videos and make up your own mind.
And after all that hard work, the pay off. Terry Gardner the obese man seen in several of the videos above, struts his stuff on stage in a frenetic dance number while on tour to the USA. What a mind-boggling transformation! It really can be done.