Some of the graduates from my Ratchet Diet clinic have contacted me with very sad stories about having been taken to the financial cleaners by members of the fairer sex who they formed relationships with after losing all the weight and getting back onto the dating scene.
For a large part of their life, my former fat friends have been ignored by women.
It’s a sad thing to have to report, but during the fat years, most of my weight-loss students have not warranted a second glance from the female of the species.
But now that they have successfully lost all the flab and developed the coveted washboard abs and ripped-buttocks, these taut and toned gents are back in business with the ladies. When our former fat boys get out on the town now, they invariably end up with a posse of attractive young women following them around like bitches on heat.
After years of being invisible, the former fat guy is now showing up on the radars of single ladies looking for love AND financial security.
Having gone from Obese to Oh-Yeah!, the new slim gentleman will need a stick bigger than Gandalf’s staff to fight off the hordes of hot sex-crazed babes trying to get their hands on his six pack. It must feel like all of his birthdays have come at once.
The bad old days of waking up in a lonely bed, surrounded by crumpled Potato Crisp bags and half-chewed Snickers bars are over. These days, our slim-line lothario is more likely to wake up in bed with one or more hot babes sleeping by his side and various items of sexy female lingerie draped over the end of his bed or strewn about his bedroom floor.
He is living the dream. What could possibly go wrong?
Well quite a lot could go wrong as it happens.
Getting access to loads of hot chicks can be a heady experience for our newly minted “babe magnet” after years of famine. But it’s not all beer and skittles. Beneath the inviting, calm, blue waters of the dating lagoon, there are jagged rocks, dangerous undertows and vicious female sharks gliding silently ready to pounce.
In some ways the newly slim gentleman is like a crap football team that suddenly finds itself thrust into the Premier League after decades playing in the lower divisions with losers.
It’s great fun playing in the big league for big stakes, but the competition is exponentially tougher and deadlier than they are used to. Yes they are now in the game, but there are a lot of traps for young players before they will stand on the dais holding the trophy aloft.
After a few months spent sowing his wild oats in short term, meaningless relationships, our former fatty will now turn his attentions to finding “Miss Right” and settling down to raise a family and live a normal life in a long term relationship.
But this is a big step into the unknown and should not be rushed.
Quite a few of the “Large Lads” from my course, have fallen into the trap of jumping straight into a relationship with a new lady, under the delusion that she “loves him” and only wants him for his new rock-hard body.
No!, no!, no! You are going to need to develop the skills to deal with these cunning ladies and separate out the genuinely nice ladies with their own solid financial background, from the greedy, hard bitches who see a man as a meal ticket, or worse … as a Lotto ticket!.
The only bulge in your trousers that these ladies are interested in is your wallet!
They will suss out your financial situation in five seconds flat, and then once having lured you into their honey trap, they will squeeze you by the balls until your eyes water and all of your hard-earned money has mysteriously found its way into their own private bank accounts.
At this point I have to confess that I am merely a humble diet counsellor and do not have the training or life experience to dispense the sort of delicate relationship advice that you will need to navigate these treacherous waters.
But luckily for you guys, I know a man who is qualified to give such advice.
I am talking about my relationship advisor, Archie Luxury.
Archie has learned about women the hard way and has the emotional and financial scars to prove it.
But don’t just take my word for it. Watch the following videos and learn from the master!.
LESSON-1 – WOMEN – A warning for all concerned – A tale of 2 wenches
In this lesson, Archie warns about the methods used by some women to detect the wealth of a prospective male partner. He also gives a simple trick that any man can use to game these women into thinking he is well off when he is actually flat broke. The take home message from the video is to be extra cautious when dealing with mercenary females, particularly if you have a “Pump and Dump” attitude to your relationships with women.
LESSON-2 – Do I start a family or do I buy a luxury watch?
In this lesson, Archie discusses the decision that every young man has to make at some stage in his life. Do I start a family or buy a luxury watch. The conclusion that Archie comes to may surprise you.
LESSON-3 – When the penny drops she can explode and manipulate you
In this lesson, Archie discusses the problems that can occur when a gentleman is in a relationship with a mercenary female and is caught out spending some of his money on a luxury item for himself. This is the sort of thing that could kill a relationship stone dead, given that the money could have been used to buy his partner new dresses, jewellery or an overseas trip. As usual Archie cuts through the crap and dishes out some hard-hitting advice to his viewers on how to deal with this situation.
LESSON-4 – DIVORCE AND THE MAIL ORDER BRIDE
In this lesson, Archie explodes the myths of the Mail Order Bride racket. Many gentlemen having lost weight and wanting to start a normal life with the lady of their dreams, decide to fast-track their way into a new relationship with a “mail-order bride”. They reason that by using online media to select and purchase a new partner they can avoid the hassles of frequenting the usual pick-up joints to hook up with a local woman. They are also attracted by the belief that a woman from overseas will be docile and obedient to them. This may seem an attractive and simple solution, but as Archie warns in this video, there are risks to be considered and this option can easily go pear shaped and blow up in your face.
And we close this topic with some inspiration from Hall and Oates – Maneater
So many have paid to see
What you think
You’re gettin’ for free
The woman is wild
A she-cat tamed
By the purr of a Jaguar
Money’s the matter
If you’re in it for love
You ain’t gonna get too far