Being fat sucks big time!
Your clothes don’t fit properly, you struggle to get the hot chicks, people stare at you when they see you walking towards their seat in a plane, you just get a really bad deal from the rest of society.
It is bad enough that you are probably going to die young from a host of diseases like stroke, heart attack, diabetes, or just breaking your neck falling over in the street.
So you really don’t need to be humiliated in public by being denied entry to a club.
The portly gentleman in this post had heard from friends about a club where most of the women were as ugly as a hat full of assholes and were desperate to get their hands on anything in trousers.
He was led to believe that even a fat bastard like himself would be in with a very strong chance of picking up a lady for some hot love action.
So he got his favourite shirt out of his cupboard and strolled along to the club to check the scene out for himself.
When he arrived and had a chat to the gentlemen out the front of the club he was given a very unfriendly reception.
It appeared that despite rumours that the club had low standards for admission of patrons into the club, these low standards only applied to female patrons. The security staff were still screening their male customers for minimum dress and body shape standards.
It seemed that the club wanted to flood their premises with females no matter what they looked like, but due to the small size of their venue they could not accommodate wide bodied males crowding the dance floor.
The Rotund Reveller was shocked when he realised that he was not going to be allowed into the club. In fact he was utterly devastated. He had showered, put on his best after shave lotion his favourite shirt and had even put on clean underpants in case he got lucky and picked up one of the desperate nymphos who his friends had told him about.
He had already had fantasies about taking one of these hot babes to his bachelor pad and letting her remove his jockey shorts with her teeth.
He tried to reason with the bouncer but that was met with a half-hearted attempt at a head but which if it had connected would have broken his nose and knocked out most of his teeth.
This pissed him off so he threw a right cross to the solar plexus that took the wind out of the bouncers sails and sent him flying across the pavement.
The bouncer was shocked at how fast our fat friend moved for a big man.
Another punch to the bouncers jaws had him seeing stars and spitting teeth over the sidewalk.
Now it was getting serious. It was starting to look like he would not be getting into the club now. The bouncer had straightened up and had his fists up ready to continue with the altercation. A couple of solid punches to his head brought him to the ground where he was softened up with another flurry of blows while he was down.
The wannabe fat dancer had started to lose interest in gaining admittance to this club.
He had now decided that he might as well beat the living shit out of as many of the staff as he could.
Some bone-crunching smacks to the sides of their head, and a few well aimed kicks in the balls while they were down made the security staff start to see the errors of their ways.
They decided that maybe they had made a mistake and were prepared to waive the strict entrance rules on this occasion.
But the Rotund Reveller was not interested.
He told them to stick their shitty club up their arse and wandered off into the night.
Another lonely fat man, shunned by society.
Arriving home he got a chilled Bud out of the fridge and logged onto his computer. Typed in the words “how to lose weight fast” and found this website. Perhaps his troubles are about to end. He can now follow this site and get loads of useful tips and be among friends.
We will never turn him away.
Check out all the action in this video:
Have you been banned from a nightclub for being too fat or too ugly? Share your story in the comments below.